


Dude You Look Like Your Sister

by GoofyGodTier (johnfightmelaurens)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, M/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-04
Updated: 2012-09-04
Packaged: 2017-11-13 12:36:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/503600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnfightmelaurens/pseuds/GoofyGodTier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John has had a crush on Rose for the longest time and when he confesses, it turns out she doesn't return his feelings. When Dave asks him out, all he can think about is how much Dave looks like his twin and well, things go from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dude You Look Like Your Sister

Knock. Knock.

Your name is John Egbert and it’s taken weeks to work up the courage to tell your best friend’s sister that you like her. You’re going to do it. Right now. Right now. As soon as she opens the door. Because she’ll be the one to open the door, right? It won’t be Dave or Bro or even their mom. It’ll be Rose. It’s gotta be Rose.

Except wow no it’s Dave. Better luck next time.

“Hey John. What’re doing over here? You were supposed to come over tomorrow, dumbass.”

“I wanted to talk to Rose real quick, could you send her out for a moment?” you ask quietly. You’re not allowed to chicken out. You’re not allowed to chicken out. You’re not allowed to chicken out...

“Yeah sure. Rose! Get your ass out here, Egbert wants to talk to you!” Dave doesn’t even stay at the door while his sister rushes to it, and Rose’s idea of rushing is walking. Eventually though Dave’s twin sister is standing there before you looking absolutely beautiful in a sundress that she must’ve pulled on because she didn’t plan on leaving the house that Saturday. Her mother was always trying to get her to wear such cute dresses, but they really weren’t Rose’s thing. Though they did look good on her, you had to agree that it wasn’t quite Rose.

“Hello, John. How may I help you? Normally you come to speak to my brother, not me.”

You choke a little. Oh gosh, now it’s time to tell her. To spill the truth. You’ve got to and you’ve got to right now. Right now.

“Well, uh, Rose. Rose, I like you and I want to finally act on the fact that I like you so this is me asking if you like me too and if you’ll go out with me.”

Rose is silent and she just stares at you. It’s scary and you start to regret saying anything. What if she says no? What if she doesn’t like you?

“John... I... I’m sorry, but I happen to be a fan of the lady bits and not the male ones. Not that yours are... Bad or anything, I bet it’s fine! But I just... Am not interested. I’m sorry.”

Something inside your chest shatters and you feel like a fucking elephant just shit on your hopes and dreams. That’s how shitty you feel and probably the most accurate way to describe it. You’re pretty sure people have died because an elephant shit on them.

You just nod, mutter how it’s fine and you just want to be friends. It’s alright. You’re okay. Really, you are! It was just a dare, no big deal. Okay that last one is the biggest lie of the bunch but oh well. You rush home with your tail between your legs. Well, you ride your bike home so it’s kind of hard to have your nonexistent tail between your legs as your riding, but for the sake of the metaphor, it’s there.

When you get home, you stash your bike in the garage and pass your dad as he’s washing his car in the front yard. He was wearing his usual dress shirt, tie, and slacks. He must’ve had to go into work that morning for something and now that he was home he decided that he could get away with washing the car in the outfit. 

“Welcome home, John,” he calls out as you pass him with your bike.

You stop so you can have a brief conversation with him. There’s no reason to rush up to your computer anyway. Plus you don’t want to run into your older sister, Jane, and have to explain to her that yes you told Rose but it just so happens that she’s a lesbian.

“Hey, dad. Why are you washing the car in your work clothes?”

He glances down at himself. “So I am,” he murmurs before continuing to rinse the suds off the car. 

Without warning, he turns towards you and thoroughly drenches you. You squeal like a little girl and groan out, “Daaaad!” before stomping inside through the garage; your father’s laughter echoing behind you.

You pull off your shirt and soaking pants the second you step inside, kicking your shoes into the garage where they will hopefully dry out before you need them again. Going through the house in just your boxers, you ditch your clothes in the laundry room before climbing the stairs to get to your room. You pass Jane’s room and you can hear your seventeen year old sister blabbing on the phone with some guy you’re convinced she’s in love with but she’ll never tell you who it is. Though you have a pretty good idea.

Once in your room you plop down on your bed and stare up at the ceiling for a moment, letting what had happened earlier really sink in. You’d confessed to Rose that you liked her and then she turned you down. She told you straight up that she was a lesbian.Shouldn’t you have been told by, you don’t know, your best friend aka her brother before you made a complete and utter fool of yourself?

Oh well fuck it. What’s done is done and now you need to put some clothes on. You ditch your boxers and kick them into the corner of the room before pulling on a dry pair. Soon enough you’re dressed and on your computer, fucking around with some do-it-yourself coding instructions that you can’t quite follow so you’re really just on your own.

Dave starts hitting you up on pesterchum and the two of you get talking about your humiliation that occurred at the Strider residence no more than two hours ago. He proceeds to explain that he had no idea that Rose was into the ladies at all or that you were into Rose for that matter and that he’s offended that you didn’t tell him, of all people, about your infatuation with his female counterpart.

Dave and Rose really don’t look all that different. It’s obvious that they’re twins, even if they are fraternal. They don’t share a birthday either which is actually pretty cool in your opinion. Dave is eight minutes older than Rose; he was born December 3rd at 11:54 pm and she was born December 4th at 12:02 am.

Slowly, you start to admit that Rose’s personality was nice and charming, but sometimes she talked too much and got inside your head a little more than you like and Dave just ends up typing “lol”, ironically of course.

You two drift from that topic for a while before Dave starts talking about hot he is and you find it appropriate to tell him, “dude, you look like your sister.”

Right after you send that, he stops replying for a good minute or two, unusual for Dave. He’s usually rambling on and on about nothing, but not this time.

After a moment he replies with, “so you think im hot” and it kind of hits you: if you think Rose is smoking, it kind of makes sense that Dave would automatically be hot in your mind.

You respond: “yeah, i guess i do.”

You can only imagine what is going through Dave’s head and it’s a little frightening to be honest. To be honest, you’ve had a suspicion that he likes you for a while but every time you think that maybe he’s got a crush something happens that makes you go, “What the actual fuck. What a dick.” Maybe he does that on purpose though. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism or some shit.

You’re not expecting his next message to you and it quite literally takes your breath away.

“well if im so hot will you go out with me”

Dave, your best friend, is asking you out and all you can think about is how much he looks like his sister. How much their faces kind of just match. How their hair is the exact same color and differs very little in style. How they’re both an inch taller than you. How Rose doesn’t have the biggest chest in the world so she’s not that different from Dave.

They’re so similar and it’s probably because of that fact that you find yourself replying with a “yeah sure.”

Somewhere (that is actually just across town) Dave Strider must be punching the air in victory because that’s ironic as fuck.

“ill pick you up at eight tomorrow and well go on a date”

You’re a little dumbfounded at the fact that he’s actually going to take you out on a date, but to hell with it. That’s proper chivalry, right?

“where?”

“itll be a surprise dress nice”

And then he logs off and you have to deal with the decision of what the hell you’re going to wear on your first date ever with your best bro who just so happens to look just like the girl you’ve been crushing on for ages.

That’ll be fun.

\--

Your name is Dave Strider and you just managed to score a date with your best friend that you’ve had a crush on since the eighth grade.

And for everyone’s who wondering, you did punch the air in victory because it’s ironic as fuck.

When you were twelve you realized you were different from other boys. You didn’t want to peek under the girls skirts or chase them around for kisses. No. You wanted to see the other boys walking around in their swim trunks or speedos. 

You were a junior now and seventeen years of age. So it’d been about three years since you first fell for your best bro’s dorky grin and weird fascination with bad movies and paranormal lore.

But now you had a date with him. You’re not too sure how you managed to do it but you did. Rose played a part in this but you didn’t want to think too hard about that fact. 

You had a date to focus on planning.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow new fic oh well hope you liked it!


End file.
